Life Lessons from a Dog

On May 21, the day before I turned twenty-five (again, wink, wink), my husband and I drove out to Madera and picked out a nine-week-old lab puppy.  We knew we wanted a female yellow lab and had already decided on the name Cadence. When we met her, with her pretty green eyes, big floppy ears, and the way she seemed to bounce instead of walk, the name fit her perfectly.

My family always had dogs growing up, and my roommates had them in the house I lived in before I got married.  However, it's been a while since I've had a dog that was truly "mine."  Now that I do, and I spend a considerable amount of time training, walking, running, and playing with this puppy, I am reminded of how much animals can really teach us about life.  A dog's perspective of life is refreshing - most of the time she seems thrilled simply to be alive.  It's as though every part of life is a fascinating adventure to her.

When we first got Cadence, we let her sleep on the floor in our room.  Sometime between 4 and 5am each morning, we would get woken up - often by chewing noises or panting, sometimes a crash (uh oh), but usually by a little brown nose right in our faces, and a pink tongue licking our faces as Cadence strained to reach the top of the bed standing on her hind legs.  Her entire demeanor seemed to say "Guys!  It's a new day!  Come on, wake up!  It's time to play!"  All we wanted to do was keep sleeping and avoid the day ahead for a couple more hours, but she couldn't wait to tackle it head-on! 

She absolutely loves life.  Going for a run is an adventure all to itself - so much to see, so much to smell!  I am constantly reminded that though she's just a member of the canine species, she is in at least one way more wise than I.  As is the tendency for us people, I tend to focus on all I don't have.  Little Cadence reminds me that life is a gift.  She isn't concerned with money, possessions, appearance, or ego.  She loves the simple things in life - a ball to chase, a nap, water to play in, a belly rub, a tasty bone, a word of praise from her master.  These things are all she needs to be content.  And even when you take all of that away, somehow she is still just happy to be alive.

A couple days ago I came home from a mentally exhausting day at work, wishing I had more hours in the day, more money in the bank, a car with air conditioning, a cleaner house...the usual grievances.  And then I saw my dog.   She got spayed last week, so she has painful stitches down her middle and a swollen belly.  She can't run, jump, or be in water (everything she loves) for two weeks after the surgery.  To top it all off, she has to wear an Elizabethan collar cone around her neck to keep her from licking or biting her stitches.  This makes it hard for her to do basic things that she usually does like hold a bone in her paws while she chews it.  And she keeps knocking into things and accidentally hitting things when she walks around because she's not used to having something around her head that takes up so much space.  It's pretty pitiful.  If I were her, I'd be hating life. 

Yet, none of this seemed to bother her as she bounced over to me and lay her (cone) head against my leg.  And suddenly I felt very silly for allowing any kind of complaint to occupy my mind.  Who was I to wallow in self pity when this little creature was still content just to be alive and with me?  She could do nothing but lie on the ground wearing a lampshade and yet still she had a big puppy grin and her face and a wagging tail.

So my dog is somehow teaching me a life lesson - to count my blessings (and there are many!) and not the things that I don't like about my life.  The funny thing is, that when I start to count my blessings instead of my complaints, I find that I have so many more to fit in the first category.  I guess Cadence really is on to something.

Philippians 2:14-16
 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure,children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

Changes, changes...

I haven't blogged in a few months.  Those of you who are close to me know that a lot has been going on in my life.  I spent the end of January, February, and March moving my belongings (You never truly realize how much junk you have until you have to move it all!) into our new condo.  I have lived in a total of 12 houses, two apartments, and one dorm in my life (so far!) so I think I am an experienced mover.  It's a pain.  Hopefully Jimmy and I will be in this condo for awhile.  We fell in love with this place when we first saw it on New Years Eve ane I fell so blessed to make it our first home as a married couple.  Yes, I said "married."  More about that later. (-:  I have always lived with a lot of other people - my parents, brothers, and a loooonnng list of roommates, but this is the first time having my "own" home.  Decorating has been a blast, and somewhat of an addiction for me.

So I haven't been logging as many miles these days with going to school and then in the beginning of March I found out that I had gotten a promotion to ECOE.  (Bank lingo - basically I take supervisor calls and assist bank branch associates with trouble shooting, bank policy and procedure, etc instead of taking frontline customer service calls.)  I was really concerned about applying for the promotion and almost didn't apply for it because it required six weeks of intense training starting March 14, and I was supposed to have a week of vacation prior to our March 26 wedding, not to mention that Jimmy and I had already booked our honeymoon for spring break, also during that period.  But my boss basically gave me a kick in the pants and told me to apply anyway.  She has always encouraged me and believed in my abilities.  I knew that these oppurtunities only come along once in awhile, so I applied and hoped for there would be some way to have my cake and eat it to.  I had my phone interview and in person interview, and then got the call from the recruiter...they wanted me.  I brought up my plans, and the recruiter was wonderful in expressing Bank of America's desire to work with their employees.  She said they had picked me for a reason and proceeded to jump through half a dozen hoops for me.  Amazingly, they had two training classes, so by joining the second class for the second portion of training I'm still able to go on our honeymoon. (We leave for Hawaii on Monday - so excited!)  So far I'm loving the challenge and extra brainwork required in my new position.

As for the wedding I just took one day off for the wedding, the day before.  I was surrounded by amazing people who helped me and it all just worked out beautifully.  Three of my five bridesmaids are married women and you know it wasn't these girls' first rodeos!  Somehow, with all the behind-the-scenes details, they made everything go off without a hitch on The Day.  Even the rain held off, just long enough for the outdoor ceremony and pictures.   I took my sweet dad's arm and went down that aisle, declared my undying love for my best friend in front of all the people I love and then partied the night away!  It was the perfect day.

So now for the real adventure...married life!  I get to add WIFE to my list of hats, and I am convinced God created me for this role along with the others.  I plan to live up to that as best I can, though I think I have it easy because I get to partner in the life with a man who is easy-going, forgiving, sweet, and without a fail can always make me at least smile and often laugh.  I have no doubt that he is exactly who God planned for me to marry, long before I had any idea there was a red-haired boy growing up in Fresno, California, who would one day steal my heart.

But that story is just beginning.  To be continued...

World Vision and Venice Beach

I collected 13.1 more miles yesterday morning.  I ran the World Vision Half Marathon in Santa Monica.  World Vision is an incredible organization that gives us a chance to make a difference in the lives of children in third world countries around the world.  I first learned about World Vision as a child because my parents would support a child.  For twenty dollars a month, it is possible to actually pay for an entire month of a child's food (I don't know about your grocery shopping, but twenty bucks wouldn't even get me through a week here) and education.  I remember as a child reading the hand-written notes that our little boy in Ethiopia would send us, thanking us for giving him the chance to learn about Jesus and meeting his medical needs.  I don't mean this as a plug for the organization, but if you ever feel a pull to make more of a difference in the world, why not start with one needy child?

Running along the boardwalk and Venice Boulevard with thousands of other runners, I was again reminded of one of the things I love about running - the sense of community I instantly feel with people I have never met before.  Something about putting in the work and dedication to prepare for, and the perseverance to finish a sporting event like this  bonds us all together.  I can't tell you how many times I heard my name cheered for from other runners along the route (my name was on my bib, or tag, that I wore pinned to my shirt) and surprisingly, even from the homeless people lined up along the side of the road, all their belongings in stacks or shopping carts beside them.  Seeing these people, with so much less than I have, content to cheer for a stranger running by touched my heart. 

Afterwards, exhausted and with tight leg muscles and blisters, we walked down the beach, by the shops selling "medical marijuana" (wouldn't it be "medicinal"?), henna tatoos and the real thing, beaded bracelets and artwork, I watched the people around me.  There were people from all walks of life, young and old.  The exhausted runners like myself, making their way to their cars to drive back to their middle-class lifestyles, volunteers who worked the charity event, tourists and vacationers playing volleyball on the beach, surfers, the hippie-types selling their art, the drugged-out and the mentally ill transients, and those who live that lifesyle by choice.  Sometimes it's good to get out of my corner of the world and see other parts of it. 

The Women in My Life (and there are many of them!)

In a society where we see women tearing each other down and seeing each other as competition instead of allies, I want to take a moment to thank the many women in my life. 

To start, I must begin with my mother, Sandy Smith, who did so much more than bring me into this world.  She is an amazing, strong women who has been through so much in her life and made so many sacrifices for my three brothers and I.  She is an inspiration, demonstrating to me that hard work and determination make so many things possible.  She went back to school for her bachelors and then her masters degrees with four young children at home, all the while demonstrating to me what it really means to "stand by her man" in her marriage.  Though we are both strong-willed and butted heads frequently as I was growing up, and I spent the majority of my adolescence rolling my eyes in her direction, she put it up with my selfishness and attitude, demostrated what an mother's unconditional love really means, and we came out the stronger for it.

Then there's HER mother, my grandma, Bettie Bramer.  She's a God-fearing woman who has always had her priorities right where they should be.  She's a nurturer who loves caring for her family, and she let me live with her for four months when I first moved to California and was just getting out on my own.

My friends are all unique and special to me each for different reasons.  Elizabeth Thomas is always there to talk through problems and analyze all aspects of a scenario.  Janelle Penner is such a nuturing person who loves to take care of the people in her life.  Bekah Gonzales has seen me through all kinds of hard times and stood by me and can still laugh about it.   Katie Perano-Frieson is who is a ray of sunlight in my life.  When I get to see Katie, not just my day, but my week, is better.  My manager at work, Rocio Arroyo, who believed in me before I believed in my own abilities.  Her encouragement and belief in my potential is a large reason for any career success I have.  Laycee Alvarez is the kind of friend who will stop whatever she's doing to help me.  There are so many other women who have enriched my life in many different ways - My high school friends like Kristi Veis and Esther Brown, college roommates Gretchen Tillstrom and Anya Tronson.  I am also so thankful for my future sisters-in-law, Jill and Kara Blanks and Johanna Mott, and future mother-in-law, Babs Blanks, who have helped make me feel like part of their family.

I often tell my fiance that he's so lucky because many of his closest friends are people he's known since childhood.  When we stand up at our wedding this March, the guys standing next to him are people he's known for years.  My life has been more transient, and the women standing by me in March are primarily people that have come along later in my life.  But I am realizing that having the chance to meet so many different women who have all touched my life in different ways is its own blessing. 

.  So here's to the women in my life - may you be double-blessed for the blessings you have been to me.

Love, love, love

Jimmy (my fiance) and I are taking a premarital mentoring course.  One of the chapters in our study guide deals with the different types of love.  They are classified into eros (erotic), philia (friendship), and agape (unconditional love given with total committment).  As I'm sitting here considering the differences between each one, I feel like the first two are have lost meaning and the last one is extremely hard to come by in our committment-phobic society. 

All around me I can see how the physical expression of love has lost its purpose.  Its given too freely, so much that for many people it's not even an expression of true love anymore and has been reduced to an empty physical act without any sort of meaning or feeling behind it. 

Friendship is easy to come by too, but again can be almost rendered worthless when there is no committment behind it.  How many friends have I had in my life that have come and gone?  I have been left with some great memories.  Many of these people - childhood friends, college roommates, ex-boyfriends, classmates, people I've worked with - they have all enriched my life in some way, but when things got a little tough (someone moved away, got a new job), maintaining the friendship was ultimately not worth the effort and now all those relationships are just memories.  I know my experience is not unique, and in the transient society we live in our lives often only intersect for a brief period of time.  Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season, but still...I can't help but feel like this lack of committment is a spreading disease among our generation.  Not that I haven't been guilty of being lazy about keeping up friendships, because I have.  There are many relationships I wish I had worked just a little harder at or made the effort to keep in touch.

But when I read the description of agape love, I was struck by how powerful it really is.  I was fortunate to grow up with parents who demonstrated unconditional love for each other and for my brothers and I.  They still do.  I have never doubted that no matter what happens in my life, my parents will love and support me and always, always stick by me.  I may disappoint them; I may break their hearts.  But they will continue to love me.  There are very few people I can say that about, and I know that many people out there don't have ANYONE they can say that about.  I think that if more people made that kind of pledge in their marriages, to their families, to their friends...our society would be much better off, and there would be a lot more of the kind of love that really lasts.   I want to make the personal committment to being the kind of person who sticks around not just when it's easy to love, but even when it's incredibly hard.    Because thats when people really need each other, and that's when love REALLY MATTERS. 

Chasing Pavement

This morning I started my day like a lot of them have started recently: chasing pavement.  Which means I was locking my front door and pulling a sweatshirt over my head at 7:30am as I set out for an early morning run.  Now I've been doing this as early as 6am all summer long with sunshine shining bright, but this morning it was a little foggy and there was a chill in the air and I thought "Fall, I think we're finally going to meet again."  I live in Fresno, California, which is famous for those Indian summers that pull 90-degree weather into October.  We say that Fresno only has two seasons, summer and winter.  Those two seasons definitely take majority of our year, so I relish those few weeks we get of fall before the cold comes and the foliage dies.  I ran down Cedar to Barstow past Fresno State, past students hustling to their early morning classes and cars piling up while their drivers hurried to make the morning commute.  Then I quietly ran home, past the cows contently chewing grass on Bullard.  By the time I got home, the sun had pushed the clouds aside to warm my back.  And I walked up my driveway with a clear head and a smile on my face, I remembered all over again why I run: What better way to start the day?